Frugal Parenting Archives - Page 5 of 5

Disclaimer: The following is my account of potty training my daughter, using a particular method*. I am not claiming to be an expert on the subject. However, in 30 years, I’ve 20 years experience with working with kids, including two degrees in education. I’ve taught in middle school and elementary schools, and just finished up my first year in preschool. Again, I am NOT an expert in the matter, but I do feel my combined education and experience makes my account worthwhile. :o)

During the third full week in May, I undertook the daunting task of potty training my daughter, who was 26 months at the time. She was ready; she was more than ready, and I knew it. This just happened to be the first block of time where I could set aside to truly devote to the task. School had finished up the week before, and we had nothing critical that needed to be done. (Gym, schmym – we’re ditching diapers!!) So, I began hyping up going on the potty even more, leading up to that week.

She’d been sitting on the potty at night since January. But that’s all she had done: sit. So the potty was already a familiar entity for her. Plus, she frequently saw Mommy go potty, and -hee hee- taught her self how to “wipe”, as well.

I knew what I did and didn’t want to do with PT. For one, I did not want to use the “timer method” – I didn’t feel like that was a way to teach a child how to read their body’s signals. I also did NOT want to make the transition from diapers to training pants (like Pull-Ups) full time. That didn’t seem to make sense for us. I started making Carol work on pulling her pants on and off for over six months prior, so she’d already mastered that task. (This was easily accomplished during diaper changes. After the diaper was put on, I’d stand her up, with pants at her ankles, and have her pull them up. She still needs a little help getting them up in the back.) I knew I wanted to go straight from diapers to panties, with the exception of naps and nighttime. (I’ll touch more upon that later.)

We ceremoniously took a trip to Target and picked out a few packs of Big Girl Panties. She got to pick out one pack , with princesses on them, naturally; while I tossed in a few more packs that were more cost-efficient. All the while, I talked very upbeat but casually, about how big girls wear panties instead of diapers, sit on the potty, AND put their pee-pee and poo-poo in the potty, and NOT in a diaper. Further, we read plenty of “going potty” books in the weeks leading up to Operation: Ditching the Diapers. Finally, I deliberately opened the packs of panties in front of her, and gave her the “princess” cardboard insert that came with the one pack, and made sure she watched me fold the newly-washed panties, talking up how neat it is to have her very own big girl panties.

Day One

So Tuesday -Day One- arrived, and after breakfast, we ceremoniously went back up stairs to take off our jammies, and take off our verylastdiaper. (Yes, my child eats breakfast in her jammies… That’s blog entry for another day.) I pulled out the new panties from her dresser drawer, and told her how, from now on, she was not going to wear diapers, but wear panties like a big girl. I showed her the picture of the princess on the front, to which she cooly remarked, “oooh, nice” while patting the princess. I went on to explain that big girls keep their panties dry, so if she felt “the pee-pees”, to tell mommy and we’d go sit on the potty. (She wore just a t-shirt and panties, no pants, to minimize the time needed to sit on the potty.)

I’m not going to lie, within two hours of this, I was totally exhausted, and halfway convinced this method just wouldn’t work. (I’m going to chalk up most of the exhaustion to pregnancy.) But I knew I had to have faith in what I set out to do, and push forward. The key to this method of potty training is to stay right by your child’s side at all times. This way, you pick up on their cues, and therefore, teach the child their cues to go potty. With frequent reminders to “tell mommy if you feel the pee-pees”, we still had our share of accidents. The key was to rush her to the potty the second I saw her pause (to pee), if the first drop came out, or if those legs started to spread apart, I’d scoop her up and plop her on the potty. All with a casual reminder that “we sit on the potty to go pee pee!”

We had about half a dozen accidents within the first two hours, but only a few that were paper-towel-worthy; mostly, her panties got a little damp, and we simply had to change in to a new pair. I frequently had her feel the new, dry pair, and compare it to the damp pair we just took off. I’d say things like, “see, these panties are dry. Let’s keep our new panties dry. So you tell mommy if you feel the pee-pees.” Also, for intermittent reinforcement, I would “quiz” her to see if the panties were dry; if they were, we would enthusiastically celebrate. Sometimes that entailed doing the “Woo-Hoo! My Panties are STILL Dry” dance.

While I was getting lunch ready, I failed to keep a close of an eye on her, and that’s when her little table and chair in the kitchen got a downpour. She stood in her chair, just letting it gush out – all the while looking over at me, unable to articulate what she needed to do, so she just, well, showed me…

And then it all started to click.

She would not necessarily verbally state that she needed to go potty, but her body language was clear. She would “hold” herself; she’d knowingly pause whatever she was doing, becoming motionless. I cracked her code, and so did she! Before I put her down for her nap, not only did she pee on the potty, while keeping her panties dry, but she even pooped on the potty, too! I really saw the tide starting to turn, and almost hated to have to put her down for a nap. (Naps were necessary – if for no other reason, so I could have a little break during such an exhausting time!) I reluctantly put on her “night-night panties” (Pull-Ups), and she went down for a nap.

Post-nap, we continued to ride the train of potty training success! While she still wasn’t verbally expressing when she needed to go, her body language was loud and clear. She went through only one or two pairs of panties until bedtime, and I could really tell it was starting to sink in with her.

With each successful attempt to sit on the potty, we called a loved one: daddy at work, grandparents, etc. This proved to be enough of a reward for her. She also got to “watch the babies” on my iPhone. (She likes to watch videos of herself on my phone.) Occassionally, I would further supplement a successful trip and dry panties with an animal cracker, but I didn’t want her to become dependent on tangible rewards. Calls to loved ones, and plenty of praise and enthuiasm proved valuable!

Day Two

The next day started off much like the previous. Except for the pooping in the panties… While she was going pee-pee in the potty like a champ, she would not repeat yesterday’s performance of going poo-poo on the potty. The first time this happened, she paused, and I honestly just missed her cue. So, she didn’t get the message that she should also poop in the potty, just the same as she goes pee-pee. The next incident occurred when she hid behind a chair to poop. This told me she knew what she was supposed to do, but wasn’t ready to try it out on the potty.

It’s important to note that, with this method (or any potty-training method, IMHO), you do not scold a child for an accident. With positively stating my expectations, Carol learned what she was supposed to do. When I saw that glaring nugget poking out of the back of her pants, I would swiftly take her to sit on the potty, all the while reminding her that “poo-poo goes in the potty”, and “remember to tell Mommy if you feel the poo-poo or the pee-pee”. My phrases from the day before continued well in to Day Three.

Day Three

Thursday arrived, much like the day before. She kept her panties dry the entire day. But, she still wouldn’t poop in the potty. She didn’t have any accidents, she just didn’t have to go. (Side note: this method encourages a fiber-rich diet, starting a few days prior to starting, as well as encouraging the child to drink, drink, drink. The drinking was not a problem. But when you have a picky child, it’s difficult to get her to eat most meals, let alone a fiber-rich diet!)

Knowing that she was peeing in the potty without incident, I felt good. However, not knowing if she would poop in the potty made me a bit nervous. I was beginning to develop a motivational reward program in my head, involving charts, stickers, and other small tangible rewards. Keeping all this in mind, I reluctantly decided to extend the “method” to a fourth day, just to be cautious. Reluctant, as we were both going stir crazy, being at home for yet another day; but, I was committed to potty-training my daughter!

Day Four

Friday turned out to be a mixed blessing, much like the day before. She continued to excel at peeing in the potty. But she didn’t poop: not in her pants, not in the potty. Argh.

However, I determined that I had to just trust that she would get it, perhaps with the help of a rewards system, which I was fully ready and prepared to implement. As it turned out, she started pooping in the potty the following day. The first time she did so, Daddy was home too, so we just made such a fuss about going poo poo in the potty, I think that was all the motivation she required. For the next two weeks, she would applaud herself for pooping in the potty, usually with a hand clap and a ceremonious “yay, I did it!”

So, I can say now, a month later, that I have a successfully and fully potty-trained child. She truly knows when she has to go, and began verbally stating when she does shortly thereafter the training experience. I’ve learned to take her at her word, whether she says she does have to go, or if she claims she needn’t go at the moment. I do still encourage her to sit on the potty before we leave the house, and as soon as we get home. But, now that I have a really cool foldable potty seat, I’m not afraid to take her to (most) public restrooms. Almost. ;o)

In an upcoming post, I will share a list of items I highly recommend you have on hand before and during potty training. I certainly have learned along the way, and feel much more confident about Pting Baby Number Two; however, I know now how consuming this method is, and will likely need a caretaker for Carol during the duration of PTing the next child. I digress; that’s an obstacle I’ll face and accomplish in a little over two years.

I will leave you with these last words: this method worked for me and for my child. I’ve heard testimonials from several other mothers of their success in using this method for their children as well. However, it is not for everyone, especially if you haven’t the ability to carve out 3-5 days solely to devote to PTing. You cannot “work from home” on these days. Your child needs your full attention. Period. I highly recommend you do your own research, and find a method that will work for your family. :o)

* – I used a slightly modified version of the 3 Day Method. It’s a program that you can purchase online. It is my opinion that you should not have to pay for a method that can help a child learn a basic life skill. However, it is copyrighted material, and I cannot LEGALLY give it away. I suggest if you’d like to learn more about the 3 Day Method, you ask your friends if they’ve used it; perhaps they could loan you their copy (it comes as a PDF, too), so you can see if it might work for you and your child.

Keep on saving! :o)
--Barbara
**Remember, y'all, this post may contain affiliate links. I receive a small amount of compensation when you purchase from my links, which I"ll totally blow on waffle fries and sweet tea, y'all!**

After 20 months (and counting) with The Tot, I have learned how to distinguish important baby gear from items that are a sheer waste of money. Baby gear is marketed to parents, praying on one of several things: convenience, nutrition/health, and making baby smart(er). Here’s what I’ve learned, both from personal experience and from simple observation.

Diaper Bags
Yes, there are gobs and gobs of uber-cute, super-sleek diaper bags out there. But you’ll likely pay a pretty penny for them. Guess what I’ve been using for about a year now? A canvas cloth tote bag. (And it was free. With coupons in it!) Yep. A large cloth tote bag, with several smaller ones nestled inside to compartmentalize things (or large plastic baggies could also work). Think about how often you get a free tote bag, or an offer for a free tote bag. Stock up on them, as they may wear out fairly frequently.

“Your Baby Can Read”
If babies were meant to read as infants and toddlers, we would’ve cracked the code long ago. Period. Are there young children out there who may learn to read at an exceptionally early age? Of course. But will it be your child or mine? Not bloody likely. And a program that you purchase will not accelerate his reading readiness. Let your little Einstein emerge at his own pace, not by one dictated by your wallet. What’s next? “Your Baby Can Conjugate”, or better yet, “Your Baby Can Solve Algebraic Equations”…. puh-lease. (I would, however, settle for “Your Baby Can Self-Potty Train”.)

There are numerous products out there praying on parents’ vulnerabilities (i.e. guilt and wanting The Best for their kids), with the promise of making their child smarter, by some gimmick. Peruse through the infant and toddler toy isle(s) the next time you’re at the store. You’ll see the sheer volume of toys with “learning” in the title. For instance, my daughter has a “learning” kitchen, thanks to Santa. You know what she’s “learned” from it? That she can open the fridge door to help her climb over to the other side. ABCs, colors, shapes? Not so much — those concepts are best left to teaching through direct interactions with me and her other caregivers, not some silly plastic toy.

Toddler Meals
Really? Prepackaged toddler meals? By this stage, toddlers should be eating table foods, just in smaller portions. Like many of us, our toddlers are probably served better, more nutritional options that we the parents. These meals are marketed to pray on parents, to make them feel like they can’t create nutritious meals themselves. In reality, these are over-priced and over-packaged — HOOEY! I say, instead, go buy some fresh veggies and fruit, get some simple meats, perhaps some fun-shaped mini pasta, and serve your Tot this — all at a FRACTION of the cost (and unnecessary packaging) of these prepackaged meals.

Plastic Infant and Toddler Dishes
I’m going to get a lot of slack for this, but guess what works just as well? Leftover frozen dinner dishes, yogurt containers, fruit cups, butter dishes, etc. …AND you’ve already paid for those!! Are those matching Elmo or Cinderella cups, plates, and bowls to-die-for adorable? Yes. But you can get by without them. Or if you must get them, get them gently used at garage sales, consignment sales, or Goodwill. Or try the dollar section at Target — they’ve almost always got them there. But spend more than a few dollars for a toddler’s plate? Perish the thought!!

Wipe Warmers
I have never heard of a baby getting sick, dumber, lacking in nutrition, or growing up to resent his parents for having a cold (or even room temperature) wipe run across their fanny. End of story. Of course, if you know of a documented case, I will happily stand corrected. ;o)

“Boogie Wipes” and Paci Wipes
…and speaking of wipes. Boogie Wipes?!! The name directly tells you what they’re intended purpose is. Guess what else works: a tissue! And they cost way less. Want a “moist” tissue? Try a diaper wipe — you can always find good deals on them.

Let’s just round out the whole “wipe” rant with Paci Wipes. Again, if you MUST use a wipe for her paci whence it falls to the floor (GASP!), try running it under the faucet. Or use a diaper wipe. (Maybe they should be called “all purpose wipes?”) Oh, and many parents have been spotted cleaning a paci with their shirt tale. I’ve yet to hear of death-by-dirty-paci…

Diaper Pale Systems
If you choose to use disposable diapers, then you must deal with the subsequent stinch from a sitting diaper. In my experience, I have yet to see an inexpensive system that truly keeps the poo from stinking up the room. Sure, you could spend thirty to fifty bucks on the pale, plus the cost of the “special” bags it takes and/or the batteries it requires. But that adds up quickly, and I’ll betcha you can still smell the poo. I’ve taken a cheaper, greener approach: we dump the poop (as much as we can) in the toilet, then put in a lidded pale. For the icky diapers that just can get completely de-pooped, I tie them in a newspaper bag, invert it and tie it again. (Essentially, double-bagging with one bag. Shall I create a video to demonstrate?) It costs nothing, and it keeps nasty poo out of the landfill.

Gadgety Toys
You’ve seen them in the stores and in commercials: the battery-operated toys with lights, noise, and motion. Quick: name five toys your child possesses that lack all three of these. I bet you couldn’t do it, could you? Now, show of hands: do your kids like to play with empty cartons, soda bottles, milk jugs, etc? (In other words: trash!) Kids don’t NEED all the bells and whistles that are out there, nor does your wallet likely need all the replacement batteries they devour! I’m not suggesting that we all rid our homes of these toys, and never buy them again. …but perhaps keep it simple. Also, keep only a few toys out at any given time, and the rest packed away. Rotate them through periodically, and it’s like you’ve got new toys all over again.

Ultrasound Videos and Photos
I’ll admit, I fell for this one. Was it a great experience to see my sweet little girl moving around, and have that moment captured on film? Absolutely. But the cost was absurd, even with a “good deal”.

Pee Pee TeePees
They are a great shower gift for an expectant mother of a boy, and will emit quite a few grins and giggles. But, again…. really? I must believe that diapers were changed for many many moons (pun intended) before these were manufactured, and parents and caregivers found ways to avoid the -um- splattering. I must disclose, however, having a daughter, this particular item has thus far been a moot point for us. Still, I just can’t imagine that these would do anything that a rain coat and umbrella, or a mere diaper wipe couldn’t also do. Notice how versatile diaper wipes can be?!

***

This list could be exponentially longer, but hopefully, y’all get the gist of it. Cute, convenient, and praying on parental insecurities is a recipe for baby gear money-making. As a parent and a consumer, I hope that you can be discerning in what is important, and what is right for you and your family’s needs.