The Simpsons Channel

Dear Matt Groening and/or Fox Studio executives (whoever has the most power),

I would like to propose something to help The Simpsons live on forever: create an entire T.V. channel especially for them.  I’m sure that you’ve had this idea pitched at you before, but just hear ME out.  My ideas are better than your run-of-the-mill Simpsons nut.

For starters, the show has been on the air for over 20 years.  Just looping through each episode would take up quite a bit of time, right?

You could even have theme days, or WEEKS, for that matter.  You could feature slightly obscure characters: Hans Moleman day, Disco Stu day, Comic Book guy day (and I love it that THAT is his name!), Milhouse day, Patti and/or Selma day, and even Lunch Lady Dorris.  Troy McClure, Lionel Hutz, and any other character played by Phil Hartman (God rest his witty soul!) could take up at least an entire day.  Hell, you could have Homer week!  Themes could be based around holidays, traveling (“The Simpsons are going to Delaware!”), episodes with Itchy and Scratchy cartoons, celebrity guest apppearances……

The possibilities are limitless, like the Cosby Mysteries!

Hell, you could even run that God-awful movie with the same name.

You recently had an hour-long special for the show’s 20th anniversary.  I’m sure there’s enough other media clips surrounding the show, the cast, and its characters, you could have time set aside for archived news-type clips.  …and I’m sure you could even develop themes around that!

This idea grows from my concern over my local T.V. networks taking The Simpsons out of their syndication lineup.  I only survive now on the occasional new episodes that air on Sundays.  Although I will not go in to much explanation here, I will simply say that these new episodes just aren’t the same.  I need seasons 1-15 to survive!  Seeing the show in its heyday would mean so much, not just to me, but to loyal fans everywhere!  Seriously, I’m going through withdrawals, and my memory is growing fuzzy of even my favorite episodes!

I was in the 4th grade when the show began, just like Bart.  I, however, have since gone on to graduate from high school, finish my undergraduate work, and then obtain my masters degree.  In fact, I looked in to majoring in The Simpsons while at the University of Georgia, but -similar to the fate of Homer’s beloved Skittlebrau- such a major does not exist.  (Don’t worry, I’m writing to them NEXT!)  In that time, I have remained a loyal fan to the show: as a child I had a variety of Simpson tees (including “Don’t Have a Cow”, the less-popular “Underachiever and Proud of it” from the Bart collection, and the coveted Homer’s “Doh!  Nuts!  Donuts” tee shirt); I have acquired all the episode guides (oh!  They’re like crack to a loyal fan!); and other figurines and books along the way.

But don’t worry, I’m not one of those nuts with a Simpson-themed house.  My husband won’t let me.

Now, I know you all are reading this and thinking, “how can we possibly make money off of having our own channel, especially compared to having our fans BUY the seasons on DVD?”  It’s simple: make the channel a premium channel, like Showtime or HBO.  YOUR FANS WOULD BUY IT!!!

In conclusion, I propose creating a premium cable channel devoted entirely to The Simpsons.  The channel can keep it’s variety by showing episodes in sequential order, by various themes of which their are infinite possibilities, media clips about the show, and -in a desperate pinch- that movie.  You have such a loyal fan base (I’ve heard rumors of bigger fans than myself out there?), that we would be willing to pay for such a channel.  Don’t let the networks showing The Simpsons in syndication control how your fans get their fix!  Take back control over this vast, glorious (money-making) empire.

Thank you for taking the time to explore my idea.  As I stated, I’m sure you’ve had this idea pitched to you before, but not by me.  Remember, I’m your biggest fan.

Thanks again, and I look forward to my complimentary subscription to The Simpsons: The Channel.

Devotedly yours,
Barbara Burns

P.S.  I would also gladly come and work for the Channel.  I already have a handful of theme ideas, as seen above.  I would gladly sit around and come up with more themes.  Just let me know!