So as 2008 starts to rapidly roll forward, it is time that I get on in sharing my Lessons from 2007.  I encourage you all to share with me, and other friends and family, what you have learned the past twelve months as well.

1.  First, I must open with the chilling realization that no one is safe.  Period.  In recent headlines, the citizens of Georgia have see an apparently charismatic, lovely young lady go from missing to dead to tortured and decapitated by a crazy old man.  Then, on a more personal note, I watched as a young girl I went to high school was found lifeless at the bottom of a lake (pond?) where she was last seen jogging with her dog in Athens.  Details still unfolding.  And, still very tragically, I cannot forget or dismiss that a friend of mine lost her brother to the inexplicable tragedy at Virginia Tech.  She and her family are turning that mess into a forum for gun control reform, and rightly so.  The point of all this is that, within our cozy little worlds, we can be jolted into terror and tragedy unknown; whether it be to us personally, or to a loved one of someone we know.  Regardless, we must never -to paraphrase a country song,- “take one single breath for granted.”

2.  Work is work.  It’s not supposed to be something we can effortlessly glide through, nor something which we can do without.  I find it oddly comforting and frustrating that my job has constantly thrown wrenches in my best laid plans for my students.  I have had to continuously be on my toes.  Perhaps it keeps me awake and alert.  Or perhaps it’s part of what draws me to the Mexican restaurant down the street each week for the chips, dip, delicious food, and the big mug of beer.

3.  Which leads me to the 3rd lesson: routine.  I love my and my husband’s routines.  We have our “date nights” that I greatly look forward to.  Okay, so I didn’t “learn” this in the past year; I’ve known this since we started dating.  However, my appreciation for these little things grows and grows with each little stressor in our lives.

4.  Finding your dream home is amazing.  Filling it with 30-years worth of furniture (thanks to your in-laws flying south) can be both humbling and overwhelming.  It is neat to know that we have certain pieces of furniture that Tim and his family used years and years ago, and to think of the history behind it.  It is sad, however, to think about WHY we have it, and why it’s not with his parents anymore.  The comfort lies in knowing that they will frequently be here to visit us, any future grandkids, and all their old stuff for MANY MANY years.

5.  God Bless Craig’s List!

6.  I miss my friends at Magill.  I knew before I left my last school that they were a special group of people with whom to work, and I knew finding another group that clicked like that would be extremely rare.  While I am reaching out and making strides at my current school, I still miss the personalities and the friendships I had there.  Leaving that school was one of the hardest things I had to do, but I simply knew I couldn’t commute for a solid hour each day.  Which leads wonderfully to …..

7.  Having a 13 minute commute kicks ass!  I still get up as early as I did last year, and still don’t get home most days until late (like last year).  But there is something wonderful about knowing that I am 6.9 miles away from work.  That is a luxury to which I have not been previously accustomed.

8.  I am perhaps unique and lucky to have such both wonderful in-laws and parents.  They are amazingly wonderful people, and I’m priveledged to get along with all of them, and have the utmost respect for them.  Even my dad is a good egg sometimes.  😉

9.  Some times those who least expect it have the strongest “Mom genes” (not to be confused with Mom Jeans).  I have watched a good friend of mine transform into a hopelessly devoted mother this year, through the pregnancy and the first few months with her son, whom I’m still DYING to meet!  Years ago, I recall her declaring that she’ll “deal with the kids when they’re old enough to talk and stuff”, and now she can’t wait for her 2nd.  😉  I have seen several wonderful women go through this in the past few years, and they have turned out to be amazing mothers, with beautiful children.

9.  I’ll be thankful come May that today wasn’t a “snow day”, or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.

Okay, folks, that’s my two cents worth.  I look forward to hearing from you all about what 2007 held in store for you all.  Take care, and (better late than never) happy 2008!  🙂

Believe it or not, I began this edition in July…  There were many little tidbits that I knew I wanted to capture before I forgot them!  So, here we go, Lessons Learned in 2008:

1)  I’ve worked with soo many kids over the years that never fit neatly into any one “label” or category.  He or she may display strong characteristic of this or that label or diagnosis, but doesn’t quite fit the full definitional criteria.  Therefore, I have learned that a label is just that: a label.  Instead of treating someone based on the label, it is better to treat the person with which we are working.  (Actually, I learned this MANY MANY years ago from my amazing mentor during my undergrad days.  It’s just been so greatly reinforced lately, that it’s worth adding to the Lessons List.)

2)  I believe my friend Lauren said this one best, if you ever want to make God laugh, just tell him your plans.  As much as I am a PLANNER, there are just so many things that are simply out of our control.  Therefore, you can make plans, but must be flexible and willing to roll with the changes. 

3)  Alaska is a BEAUTIFUL, beautiful place.  I truly hope that it remains the last frontier.  If you ever have the opportunity to see the land, DO IT!

4)  ***Males, you DON’T want to read this one.  Just skip straight to number five NOW!****  When you’re trying to have a baby, and you know it’s close to That Time of the Month, you dread having to go to the restroom, for fear of disappointment.  And even AFTER you’ve taken two pregnancy tests -confirming that you are indeed preggo- it’s hard to understand that you’re period isn’t coming, so you’ll still *expect* it when you go to the restroom for a few days.  That, too, will subside with time.

5)  If you ever want to go to the beach, but can’t get away, put on The Beach Boys.  They’re like a barbershop quartet, with guitars.  They will instantly take you to a warm place, with sand and a cold drink.  ;o)

6) If you ever meet a mother who says she had an easy pregancy, AND/OR retained her figure instantly, SLAP HER!  Consider it a personal favor for yours truly.

7) As an expectant mother, I cannot read enough about prenancy or babies.  I cannot help but stare in awe at babies I see.  I have even become more motherly towards our good ol’ dog, Payton.  And I thought that teaching was a lifestyle!  Hello motherhood!  :o)

8)  It’s okay to have one room in the house that you just never get as organized as you want it to be.  No matter how much it bugs you, sometimes you have to just LET IT GO.  (I know, this is information is shocking to many of you — it still shocks me.)

9)  There truly is NEVER enough time in the day, in the week, month, etc. to get everything done.  And that’s okay.  Just do what you can, prioritize when you need to, ask for help when needed, and just enjoy the time that you have. 

10) July 15th is a day I will never forget for as long as I live.  It’s the day I went in for my lasik surgery pre-op.  It’s also the very day I realized I wouldn’t be able to have the surgery for quite some time.  I had an even better medical condition coming my way.  That was the very day that I took The Test, and discovered that Tim and I were going to become parents.  …okay, no lesson there, just a day I now have ingrained in my mind permanently.  (Along with those precious ultrasounds during which we got to “meet” our little girl.  …words simply cannot describe seeing that little image moving around, knowing that she was growing in me!)  I intend to enjoy the ride.

11) My life will never be the same again.  And I am absolutely okay with that.  I actually look forward to it: the very highs and the very lows that encompass parenthood.  I am not niave enough to believe that this little girl will always be a joy, or even easy, but I greatly anticipate watching her grow and raising her to be a responsible, compassionate citizen.

12) Once you go touchscreen, you never want to go back, be it phone, navigation or -gasp!- computer!

13) Similar to my comments in #8: Although I still truly believe that teaching is a lifestyle (beyond “just” a job, or even a career), there comes a time when you have to step back and let some things go.  One simply cannot work 10-12 hours a day, every weekday, plus weekends, and feel balanced or whole.  You cannot let a job consume you.  Don’t get me wrong — I LOVE the actual teaching and working with my students.  But the paperwork, planning, and politics on top of that are for the birds!  Welcome to teaching in the NCLB era!

14)  I fully understand the expression “don’t wish your life away”.  As a planner, I have always anticipated the next big milestone, making such comments as “only xx more days until [insert any significant day/moment/event]”.  While it’s fine to keep your eyes set on upcoming events, you have to live your life each day, and not just try and build for what may come.  You never know what the next week, day, hour, or even minute can bring; and what you expected to happen can change on a dime.  Be prepared to roll with the punches, and be flexible with the moment.  So, do not wish your life away!  …anyone care to count the number of cliches loaded into this one??

15) Pregnancy and its impeding motherhood change your life drastically, and forever.  Aside from the physical signs (STRETCHING ligaments are a killer!!) and visual cues (I look like a tank these days!!), my way of looking at things has altered permanently.  For example, while at a restaurant or ANY dept. store, I now note the places whose facilities have a changing table.  I’ve always been a germaphobe and have always thougth about public places and how I would handle them when I have kids, but I now keenly note who has facilities that are “kid-friendly”.  I also now look at song lyrics, television, and movies drastically different.  I’ve always looked at the media and thought, would I want my children to be exposed to this?  (More often than not, the answer was an astounding “no”.)  However, now I look even closer and reflect on if I would want my DAUGHTER to be exposed to, or influenced by, the messages this song/episode/movie presents.  Again, mostly, the answer is “no”. 

…I wonder if my little girl will grow up to be opinionated at all???  ;o)

16) If you’re looking to “rest” during a break, never, NEVER do a complete, simultaneous overhaul of 2 bathrooms, particularly while pregnant!  It’s not fun to have to climb stairs EVERY time nature calls!  And you know it’s killing me to look at the “mess” accumulating in the meantime…

17) Life is never short of miracles; the last seven months have been proof of that.  However, while I am reflecting and lamenting on the joys of this last year, and the wonders that lie ahead for me and my family, I am reminded that life is absolutely precious and fleeting.  A family I’ve grown up with is currently struggling with an impending decision they must make in a few days.  I do not envy them.  I can only pray for them and keep them in my thoughts, and let them know that myself and my family are there for them, in whatever capacity they need. 

And with that, I close my thoughts for 2008.  I’m sure 2009 won’t be as long-winded, as I will likely have less time to sit, ponder, and type!  I can’t wait!  So, to all of you reading this, I wish you a very happy new year.  I hope 2009 holds wonderful excitement in store for each one of you.  You wouldn’t have received this message if you weren’t, in some way, an important person in my life.  If you wish to write back, sharing your “lessons”, I look forward to reading them.  If not, I won’t hold it against you …not too much!  ;o)  Happy 2009 everyone!

I’m just going to go ahead and put the blog out there for you all to see and judge and snub…..  I’m too much of a perfectionist, and if I wait until all is just so, it may never be out there…..  So, here goes!

     During high school, my undergrad days, and even after my graduate work was completed, I would have dreams about being on the diving board again.  I figured out years and years ago that those dreams were about control.  Typically, I was trying to gain control of something in my life, and it would be mirrored by how much control I had on the diving board, and by what I was able to execute from the air.  Those dreams were pretty clear.  I loved those dreams.  I always awoke from those dreams freshly, warmly nostalgic, longing for the days at Vermack Swim Club, where I would spend carefree hours upon hours, just soaring off the board.  Never mind that I was never that good — diving was simply a passion I enjoyed.  Dearly.


     Yet, as I grew older and moved away, I hadn’t access to a diving board.  Thus, my subconscious indulged me now and then with its own version of The Board.


     Fittingly, the last time I vividly recall having a great diving dream, was when I really felt like things were coming together, and I had absolute control over my life.  If memory serves, I had finished my masters, had just put a wedding behind me (oh blissful newlywed days*), felt confident in the beginnings of my second year of teaching, and Tim and I had just closed on the home of our dreams.  Thus, I felt in complete control of my life, and I nailed every dive in that dream!


     It seems, however, these dreams about control and diving have been replaced with dreams of my ol’ apartment and …..?  I’m still struggling to determine precisely WHAT these dreams are truly about.  What I do know is that -pardon the expression- if those walls could talk, they would bring back all kinds of memories, with about half a dozen roommates!  All of whom, with one exception, I have nothing but fond memories.


     And so, it makes sense that a place where I spent a significant chunk of the beginnings of adult life will frequently be the setting of my dreams.  It just nags at me that I cannot determine the meaning behind these dreams.  I’ll keep turning ideas and hypotheses over and over in my head.  


     Until then, well, I’ll just keep dreaming.
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* – for the record, Tim and I are still blissfully living our lives, almost four years later.

“I’m sorry.”


     Why are those two words so very difficult to say?  Even more so, why must they be followed by some excuse or rationale for the behavior in question?!??!?

     It’s something we’ve all done.  We did something wrong, and apologized.  Yet within the very same breath, we try to explain our actions, to make sure that we really weren’t the awful person we were made out to be.  We’ve also all been on the receiving end of an “I’m sorry, but…” apology.  They sound anything but sincere.


     If I can teach my very special 4th graders to correctly make and accept apologies, anyone can do it.  They went like this: “I’m sorry [insert name here] for [insert behavior worthy of an apology].”, while apologizer extends hand.  The apologizee shakes his/her hand and says “I accept your apology.”  


     And they move on.  Just like that.


     When you make an apology, just humble yourself.  By trying to explain your actions, or -even worse- trying to justify them, you defeat the purpose of the apology.  Obviously, you have wronged someone, in a big way or a small way, and those two words can go a long way.  When adding a “but….” to that apology, it strongly negates those two words.


     So, take a big ol’ swallow of humble pie, and just say “I’m sorry.”

A fellow Facebook friend sent this selection to a mutual FB friend:

“Silence frees us from the need to control others … A frantic stream of words flows from us in an attempt to straighten others out.  We want so desperately for them to agree with us, to see things our way. We evaluate people, judge people, condemn people. We devour people with our words. Silence is one of the deepest Disciplines of the Spirit simply because it puts the stopper on that.” –Richard Foster, from his book Freedom of Simplicity

“Wag more, bark less.”