The Ol’ Apartment

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     My apartment in Athens.  Ahhhh, memories!  

     For seven years I lived in the same apartment, in the town I fell in love with while getting a college education.  I loved Athens so much, I stuck around and got my master’s there.  Through about half a dozen jobs, most of which I loved, I paid my rent for the ol’ place on Sycamore Drive.  And now, over five years later, I have these random dreams, all taking place at that apartment.  Many times, I’m trying to move out of the apartment, and find nooks and corners of accumulated “stuff” holding me back (okay, the meaning there is  pretty clear).  Other times, I’m just …..there.  Yet even in the dream, my mind knows I’ve already moved out, and -like a running narration- I’ll remark on how to use something seen in the apartment in some aspect of my real, non-dream life. 

     During high school, my undergrad days, and even after my graduate work was completed, I would have dreams about being on the diving board again.  I figured out years and years ago that those dreams were about control.  Typically, I was trying to gain control of something in my life, and it would be mirrored by how much control I had on the diving board, and by what I was able to execute from the air.  Those dreams were pretty clear.  I loved those dreams.  I always awoke from those dreams freshly, warmly nostalgic, longing for the days at Vermack Swim Club, where I would spend carefree hours upon hours, just soaring off the board.  Never mind that I was never that good — diving was simply a passion I enjoyed.  Dearly.

     Yet, as I grew older and moved away, I hadn’t access to a diving board.  Thus, my subconscious indulged me now and then with its own version of The Board.

     Fittingly, the last time I vividly recall having a great diving dream, was when I really felt like things were coming together, and I had absolute control over my life.  If memory serves, I had finished my masters, had just put a wedding behind me (oh blissful newlywed days*), felt confident in the beginnings of my second year of teaching, and Tim and I had just closed on the home of our dreams.  Thus, I felt in complete control of my life, and I nailed every dive in that dream!

     It seems, however, these dreams about control and diving have been replaced with dreams of my ol’ apartment and …..?  I’m still struggling to determine precisely WHAT these dreams are truly about.  What I do know is that -pardon the expression- if those walls could talk, they would bring back all kinds of memories, with about half a dozen roommates!  All of whom, with one exception, I have nothing but fond memories.

     And so, it makes sense that a place where I spent a significant chunk of the beginnings of adult life will frequently be the setting of my dreams.  It just nags at me that I cannot determine the meaning behind these dreams.  I’ll keep turning ideas and hypotheses over and over in my head.  

     Until then, well, I’ll just keep dreaming.
* – for the record, Tim and I are still blissfully living our lives, almost four years later.

Keep on saving!  :o)

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