You’ve read the 11 Commandments of Nanny 911 and are well on your way to understanding how to get back on track with your kids. You’re working on being more consistent, but the consequences you’re giving out either don’t fit the “crime” or aren’t effective. Now what? Cue the Naughty Chair.
If you’ve watched Nanny 911, you’ve seen the nannies use the Naughty Chair, and you’ve seen how effective it can be! The Naughty Chair isn’t fit for kids of all ages, nor is it fit for every child, but it’s a good option if your kids have become out of control and you’re looking to start reinforcing the rules and Nanny’s other commandments to get your house back in order.
Having household rules and enforcing them consistency is key to getting unruly behavior back in line. Don’t let things get to the point of you being angry when you’re sending your child to the Naughty Chair (or other consequence). Handle it firmly, calmly, and rationally. Remember commandment #8: respect is a two-way street. This doesn’t mean you should be a pushover – it means quite the opposite! Don’t yell. Don’t be mean. Be firm. You’ll earn your child’s respect, they’ll know you mean business, and you won’t feel guilty afterwards like you do when you lose your cool.
It’s important not to overuse the Naughty Chair. Give your child a warning in an authoritative and firm voice, explaining which behavior you want them to stop. If your child continues this behavior, you take them to a designated chair (you could use a step, too), and explain – briefly – why they are in time out. Quickly walk away, setting a timer for their time out. A good rule of thumb is one minute per year of age. If your child moves from the chair, they go back and the time starts over – without any talking, haggling, arguing, etc from you. Some kids have a rough time standing in a corner or sitting in a chair, so if you want to create an “area” rather than one tiny space (to avoid power struggles), that works, too. You know what will work best for your child.
Staying put in the discipline area is important. Remember: start the timer over if they throw a fit, move out of the area, etc. The more consistent you are, the faster they will learn how to behave both in the Naughty Chair and in every day life!
Once the timer goes off, explain the situation – what happened, why they ended up in the chair, and how they will end right back in the chair if they do it again. At this time your child should apologize, if they did something like hit you, etc. Last but not least, give them a hug and tell them you love them. At this point, you move past the bad behavior and start fresh.
Don’t make the mistake of giving warning after warning after warning. Give a warning, clearly and firmly, and then if the behavior repeats or continues, off to the Naughty Chair they go without any fussing from you. Treat it as a simple fact of life, rather than a big ordeal. It is what it is. You do the crime, you serve the time – and then we move on.
The Naughty Chair is used when rules are not followed. It is a time out for both Mom and child, because heaven knows we all need a break sometimes, too! If you overuse this form of discipline, it becomes less effective, so keep that in mind.
Do not negotiate or engage with your child when they’re in time out. After the time out has finished successfully, that is when you can talk about the behavior and why it was unacceptable.
At the end of the day, remember to focus on the positive as much as possible. I know it gets frustrating, and I know it can be tiring – but focusing on the positive is going to get you much better results. I promise! 🙂
If you’re looking for even more parenting tips, be sure to check out the Nanny 911 book on Amazon.
Check out the rest of my Nanny 911’s series:
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