“I’m sorry, but…”

“I’m sorry.”


     Why are those two words so very difficult to say?  Even more so, why must they be followed by some excuse or rationale for the behavior in question?!??!?

     It’s something we’ve all done.  We did something wrong, and apologized.  Yet within the very same breath, we try to explain our actions, to make sure that we really weren’t the awful person we were made out to be.  We’ve also all been on the receiving end of an “I’m sorry, but…” apology.  They sound anything but sincere.


     If I can teach my very special 4th graders to correctly make and accept apologies, anyone can do it.  They went like this: “I’m sorry [insert name here] for [insert behavior worthy of an apology].”, while apologizer extends hand.  The apologizee shakes his/her hand and says “I accept your apology.”  


     And they move on.  Just like that.


     When you make an apology, just humble yourself.  By trying to explain your actions, or -even worse- trying to justify them, you defeat the purpose of the apology.  Obviously, you have wronged someone, in a big way or a small way, and those two words can go a long way.  When adding a “but….” to that apology, it strongly negates those two words.


     So, take a big ol’ swallow of humble pie, and just say “I’m sorry.”